the things we do that make our children proud of us

Tonight I am watching the Oscars.

There in the front row, flanked by her two daughters,

sits the  ever wise and glowing  Meryl Streep

who is  not above dancing and singing in middle age abandon 

not above embarassing herself.

Close by her, Melissa Leo, with all her wrinkles,

is up for an academy award for Frozen River

and still another bespectacled star,  Richard Jenkins, who played professor turned african drummer  in The Visitor  with  " acting  born of that ease that only experience can bring."

Stop! did I hear that right?

Can this really be happening in Hollywood?

Those who are acting and  parenting and  working 

with  experience have become my stars:

 I admit it.  I want to be like them.

Everyone who wins  the oscar and has a child

 tells them that it is for them, this honor, it is all for them.

Because parents do everything for their  children.

Really.

We want to  make our children proud of us.

But here's the secret:

it's not winning the oscar that will really make our children proud, 

 its not the  fancy evening gown and jewels we wear,

 not the   trust fund we leave them.

It is about the love and about the work 

and about the experience we have learned from both,

what we believe in and pass on, 

with  joy and passion, 

and for me right now it  looks like  this group of five  

electric guitar playing rock n roll singing baby boomer

empty nesting couples  all with two daughters, just like  Meryl Streep 

once a month, we get together and  belt out songs

 like our life depended on it,  dance like we're on a greek island,

all  us who came of age marching in war protests and labor movements

working on a kipputzes, living in communal houses,

growing organic gardens, learning how to  meditate

all of us who never gave up hope that change would come

 still singing songs like:

Which Side are you on

We Can work it out

Union Maid

Solidarity Forever

Taking Care of Business

She Works hard for the Money

We laugh about how we could put it on u-tube and embarras ourselves

or not.

What matters is that 

we  make our children proud

just as my daughter tells me she feels when she passes on 

my blog to all her friends

we pass on what we  have learned:

 how we  walk in the right direction, 

towards our north stars and even when we get off track

how we  find our way back to being radiant again